You wake up early one morning and there is a song playing on the clock radio next to your bed.  It’s a catchy tune.  You remember it from a time ago and it sticks in your ear all day long.  Some people call it an “ear worm”.  You can’t shake it no matter how hard you try.

Somebody says something to you or does something to you and it stings.  Sticks and stones may break your bones but words go deeper.  And no matter how hard you try you can’t shake it.  You just keep remembering it.

A critical incident happens at work or at home or in a relationship and it shapes the situation.  You find yourself remembering the incident and it affects how you treat the people you are with.   You can’t shake it.

I had an experience recently that captures what I am writing.  I was working with a group of friends and I asked them to think through critical incidents in the life of the group over the past 5 years.  I was looking for events and occasions (for good and for bad) when something happened that we remember and because we remember it, it probably had some impact.  They were pretty good about bringing up events.  But there was one critical event that I remember clearly that no one else talked about.

I thought about their silence.  I thought maybe they were being polite because it was “painful” for us.  But the longer we went, the more they didn’t talk about it.  I realized after an hour, “what was so critical for me was actually quite unimportant to them”.  Funny how that is.

I guess the lesson I draw is that some things we think are really sticking to us may be only sticking to us.  The people that we worry about really don’t worry about us.  Hmmm.  I am not saying it’s always the way it is but sometimes we overplay memories in our mind.  They become an ear worm that really is burrowed deeply in our brains alone.

Maybe we can be too sensitive at times?

How about we “forgive and fuhget about it”?   Sound like  a plan?

 

 

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